Small Talk, Simple but Powerful Skill

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, small talk is a conversation about things that are not important, often between people who do not know each other well. Conservative as in Japan, small talk (雜談) is considered as a necessary skills to navigate society as an adult (大人力), as important as the ability to “read the air (空気を読む)”, to perceive the unspoken social cues.

Interesting as it is, there is a framework as a reference during small talk:

「木戸に立ちかけせし衣食住」

木（き）	season
戸（と）	road traffic condition
に（ニュース）	news
た（旅行）	travel
て（天氣）	weather
か（家族構成）	family-related issue
け（健康）	health
し（趣味）	hobby
衣（い）	fashion
食（しょく）	food
住（じゅう）	living environemnt

“What makes it so challenging is the fact that we can't have a script. We have to just go with what is happening at the moment,” stated Matt Abrahams, a lecturer in organizational behavior in the Stanford Graduate School of Business. He believed that small talk is in fact a wonderful way of connecting, bonding, learning and growing, instead of simply as a chit-chat.

We do not have to be fascinating, engaging, and interesting. In fact, we just need to be present and be interested in the conversation that is happening. Matt Abrahams thinks mistakes are normal and natural in communication. We make them all the time. Please be reminded that spontaneous communication is about connection, not perfection.

Ask ourselves three questions: "what" refers to our idea, belief, product and service; "so what" refers to why is it important to the person we are talking to; and "now what" refers to taking questions, or setting up another topic. Last but not least, paraphrasing enforces us to slow down and listen more carefully. Remember, speed to respond is not associated with competence.

IMG: https://ellii.com/gather/polls/small-talk